Things I learnt in the SAF

Just came back from Hong Seng's house, where I damn near blew his computer up. He lost most of his videos and all his mp3s, and his bro's project files. Sorry, Xiao Hong.

ORDed yesterday, so today I think I'll write a few things I learnt in the SAF.

1: How to eat a chicken wing with fork and spoon.
This one, everyday can practise, because we always get chicken wing for lunch.

2: The art of ninja
The ability to smell work coming (esp. sai kang) and disappear before kena arrow. Ninja! *poof*

3: "Tai Chi"
The art of delegating blame. The higher the rank, the more powderful the skill. I only Corporal so my skill not velly powderful, but it's there.

4: Arrow
The art of pushing work to another person. Again, increased skill comes from rank (But strangely the Warrants seem to be masters of this skill rather than Officers.). My ass is so full of holes I feel I can change my name to Swiss cheese without problem.

5: Packaging and acting
The SAF is all about packaging and acting. As long as things look good, all is good.

6: Smoking and mirrors
Smoking is a skill that most soldiers learn within a week in Tekong, and I don't mean with cigarettes("Yes Sargen! I orreddy do fai set of seven poo up!").

But the most powderful smoking + mirrors I experienced was at the "Special" Investigations Branch (*ptui*) of SAFPU. They surpass David Copperfield's level of skill. They will make all sort of promises and threats(Chalet si boh?!) to make you sign confession. All they want is to close the case, no matter if the poor fella they arrow as scrapegoat is innocent or not.

That's all for now. I'll add more as I think of them. Feel free to leave a comment if you think of something I don't.

posted by CompulsiveShopper @ 8:24 PM